Stop Leaving (Or: Well, Sht)
by MoonPrincess623
Summary: Wolf and Raven ending AU. Solas doesn't really change, leaving/returning/leaving, except this time, he left something that is going to make him stay. Add in a very pissed off Inquisitor, stupid Council, Qunari that need to be murdered, and a Dragon that needs to keep her nose to herself, Solas is in trouble. Raven isn't going to back down, not anymore. Tresspaser/DA: I spoilers.


**Moon Says** : I'm a horrible person; I know. But I couldn't get this out of my head. It's something that won't happen in _The Wolf and the Raven_ , but it's something that I wondered about. Horrible summary, but there might be spoilers for the rest of WAR and TRESPASSER/DA: I/DA: II. AU of WAR.

 **Summary** : After cleaning up his mess, Solas left me once again. Different time, slightly different looks, but nothing had changed. We were still the same. Always hurting, coming and going. Solas came back, though, to warn me that things were not done. We had another mess to fix, but the Qunari were interfering. This time, he left me with something. Something that could have destroyed Thedas before we could heal it. This time, I wasn't going to let him leave. I'd find him and he wouldn't leave again.

 **Pages** / **Words** : 12 & 5, 158

 **Written** : 12 March 12, 2017

 **Edited** :

 **~Stop Leaving or: Well, Shit~**

"You know you won't kill him when you find him," Cole in that special, soothing way of his as I stormed out of the council chambers. "So why do you clutter up your mind with many plans of death?"

I said nothing nor did I begin to calm until fresh air hit my face.

Honestly, that stupid council, stupid fucking idiots. Especially Tegan. I save his ass, save his people, and what does he do? The bastard fights against me! Honestly, he must think I'm an idiot if he expects me to believe that Allister would side against me.

The air hit me again, and I let out a breath.

Why was I always the one the center of all this shit? First, all that crap in my first life, then followed by the Blight, then life as the Champion, and finally, the Inquisition.

Then, before the council, Solas has to show up and warn me about what was coming—something that he was provoking.

Cole, sensing that I was getting stressed again, hugged me from behind, holding me to him. I tilted my head to the right so he could lay his on my left shoulder.

Feeling him with me didn't just calm my body, but his song-song calmed my soul too.

I'd admit that I was hurt. Solas left me after we defeated Coriffyass. Only to come back for a night and to leave once I was asleep.

I shouldn't have expected anything different, but truly, I had thought that this time would be different. Fuck, who was I kidding? I had hoped that it would have been different once we closed the Rift and killed the idiot who actually opened it.

But I should have known better. Solas didn't start that shit just for it to end...

I pushed those thoughts away, pushed my Wolf away, and let Cole consume my senses. I closed my eyes and just breathed. I went outside of myself and just went into him. Cole was always the calm in the storm. Sometimes I just needed his love, his compassion, wash over me.

After a few minutes, I opened my eyes and looked to my left as I sensed someone coming. I came back to myself, but there was something I hadn't noticed before as my awareness went back into my body.

Something else as there, but I pushed it away, for now, because Liliana was walking closer to me.

~WAR~

When I saw that Qunari whore again, I was going to kill her. Painfully, slowly.

First, she made me go into the In-Between again. That right there wasn't helping me at all. I hated going into the Fade. Always afraid...because it brought it back. The feelings of loneliness...of brokenness. It always made me want to scream, to curl into a ball.

I was not someone who was supposed to be alone. There was a twin of my soul, my magic, my very being, out there. And when he left me...even if we agreed it was him...I couldn't bare it. It tore me apart, and it was only because they came that I started to feel something again—feel normal, myself.

But I was forever tainted. The thing that we all feared happened to me. I had changed...

It was only when they were with me that I had become a makeshift version of my old self. I had become the new me: the one who adapted, who did what she had to do to survive. Who became what she needed...

And the price of this was that always needed someone. I could never be by myself. I always needed so anchor of sorts.

And this bitch was reminded me of all this; of shit I would rather leave buried.

Second, she made me chase her into this...broken place. A place that looked like I felt inside. A place that I had broken.

I...none of us thought of the consequences of what we had done.

The road to the Void is paid with good intentions is the old saying.

I couldn't bear the damage that we had done. It hurt too much. And I was going to take it out on her.

Third, she was trying to kill my prideful wolf...

No one was going to kill him except me, so she just got bumped up my shit list.

And fourth? The bitch was playing with dragons. She hurting them; torturing them...

I had always loved dragons; they were sacred, majestic, powerful, so much like _us_ —was it any wonder that we took their forms?

Since I had been inside the human body, this Raven, I have been forced to kill a few of these great beasts. And it was all my fault. If Fen'Harel and I had not created the Veil, they probably wouldn't have gone insane let alone the Blight shit.

But, I digress.

I wasn't going to kill this one. She was going to live.

"Cole, Varric, open those damn gate doors," I ordered to the two Rogues before turning to the, now, official Warden and told him to "take out the leftovers."

I extended my aura, my magic, my Fade-Song, and let it encompass the center of the room where the dragon was. It had actually been one of the others that figured this trick out. The dragons would be soothed by our special Song. All of us were different than the others of the People. I mean, really, who else had souls of powerful Spirits manifest in human form?

I walked straight out to the center of the platform causing the great Lady to growl at me as I slowly came forward. As I did so, she took in my Fade-Song and began to calm down.

It was only when I got close and she sniffed me that I knew something was wrong. Her nose gently touched my chest causing my eyes to widen.

No...that can't be. There was only one reason a female high dragon who nudge her nose to my chest, but it was impossible...

I was too damaged...

The gates opened causing her head to wipe around to see what was the noise only to turn back to me. Her eyes locked with mine, and I knew I felt her pity. For what else could she feel for me? I had no doubt she could _feel_ what was going on around her not just with my Song.

This great beast knew exactly what was coming...

"Well, shit."

~WAR~

From then on, I moved forward in a bit of a daze, but when the Saarabas attacked us, I got so angry. I showed that bastard why I was the one that was put in charge of a prison for those who held magic but weren't sentenced to die.

The Templars were on the right track with taking one's magic. You block complete access to the Fade, but there was more to it than that. Since I was feeling vindictive (that bitch was getting on my last nerves), and freaked out (stupid, fucking dragon), I decided to completely fuck this bastard up.

While the others distracted and keep the Qunari mage busy, I was on my knees in the center of the courtyard. I had both of my swords deep in the ground on my opposites. They helped me form the circle. I then connected my magic with them and channeled the Fire and Ice together, created a runed, ritual circle—burned and frozen into the ground.

I spread my magic around, making sure my will was absolute. I knew what I was going to do.

It was only when I was complete that the Saarabas was able to make his way to me. He did his jump and slam attack, landing right in the middle of my circle. As he did so, I jumped completely out, and when he was in the middle, I activated it.

I enjoyed his screams as my magic cut him off from the Fade but also trapped all of his magic inside of his body.

With the convicts, we would do, so that they couldn't escape with the magic that was still in their bodies. By blocking off the Fade, they couldn't gather anyone magic, and by closing off their bodies, they couldn't expel the magic still in there.

Usually, there was some way we drained the magic from them, either letting it out in little spurts (by leaving small pore-like holes in the binding) or just straight up draining it.

I didn't leave any outlets, and this bastard had gathered a shit ton of magic to kill us with. That left him with all of it causing it to destory him from the inside out. With the amount of magic he had in him, it didn't take long before he exploded.

I had forgotten about that part, so I didn't get out of the way getting blood all over me.

I sighed before trying to get some off. I got my face cleaned, some of it anyhow, so I ceased my attempts.

Cole was by my side in a second, almost as if he never left it. "If you need me, call and I will come."

I felt his hand on my cheek and leaned into it. "It will be okay, my Lady," he whispered before pulling back, letting me go.

I sighed as his warmth left me. My eyes grew confused for a second before they widened in realization. "You knew..."

Cole gave me a small smile, "Your Song told me."

I didn't know what to say to that. Our lives were all going to change, one way or another, and I had no fucking idea if this, any of it, was a good idea.

I quickly made my way through the mirror, and when I came out, I was immediately greeted with the sight of froze Qunari...and not my type of frozen either.

I dodged through them as fast as a could only to find that bitch attacking the back of my Beloved.

My magic reacted on its own; ice shards skewered her body. As I walked up to her body, noticed in the corner of my eye that he had turned toward me, but I ignored him as I commented, "A little bit of variety never hurt anyone."

My words only caused him to chuckle. "Even after all this time, you still surprise me, ma vhenan," his words were soft, comforting, and almost made me forget everything.

Almost. The dragon's message was still in the forefront of my mind. That and all the shit I just had to go through because of him.

I couldn't find words, so I glared at him.

It only caused him to look sad, "Is this the line? Have we finally come to the point of no return?"

I was taken aback by his words, surprised that he would think that I was forever done with his bullshit, with him—that must have been some glare. But it brought up a good point.

Was it?

Was I done with him?

The dragon...would I ever be done with him?

I only sighed and ran a hand through my messed up hair. "I didn't know we had one, but..." I trailed off for a second, "but I had always wondered when enough would be enough." I locked eyes with him, "When I...one of us would get tired of everything."

I had thought that with this new life of mine that he wouldn't want me anymore. I was no longer the woman he loved and hurt...I was human, tainted with the soul of an old one.

Solas didn't say anything; instead, tilted his head towards the area behind him, his hands clasping behind him.

"I don't think I have to explain to you what I started here, do I?" Solas asked after we walked for a few minutes. We stopped over a cliff that showed an area that I hadn't seen in so long. It was one of my safe-havens.

"You've come to realize just what I did," I told him. "We tried to save the world, locking away the others like us by creating the Veil, but in the end, the damage we have done is too much for you to bare."

Solas' turned his eyes, his storm blue eyes, toward me, and raised an eyebrow. "Do you not feel the same?"

I thought about his question seriously, remembering the last thirty or so years of this life as a human, before coming to a conclusion. "Right now, I just want to burn the world down."

My old lover really looked at me then, trying to see if I was truly serious about doing this because I knew it was not what he wanted.

Well, both would save the world, heal it from all the damage that has been done. "We may have started what is going on, but we didn't make it this bad. I hate that we hurt our people in our desperation to save them. Well, I wanted to save them and punish the others, you just wanted your revenge because your whore was killed."

My voice was bitter, and I didn't like it. I had thought that I had come to terms with what had happened during my role as Inquisitor and Herald. I thought I had maybe forgiven him...we had hurt each other so much; did it matter that he fucked the other woman?

Especially considering I had taken two lovers before we met up again. Now I had three that were not him.

I gave a frustrated scream as tugged at my hair. "You make me so angry. Did you ever think that maybe we should be doing this together? That _maybe_ you should be taking my opinion into consideration?" I glared at him and his face twitched but he didn't flinch. "Why can we never make these decisions together? Why am I always following after you and you expect me to obey like a good little bitch?"

I let the words sink in, but I still didn't tell him about the dragon. I was just so tired. So tired of everything. I had wanted to be needed, to be something meaningful to someone, of someone actually giving a damn about me.

Maybe I had gotten spoiled with Fenris and Sebastian let alone Cole. They had their own problems, but they trusted that I could help them. We were partners though I, most of the time, took the lead.

But with him, with my Wolf, I was always following, always obeying. As I really thought about it, I never really had a say in anything. It was always reacting with him. The one time I did something, he destroyed me.

I was lost in my thoughts and was brought back with a touch of his lips on mine. His hands cradling my face. It was just a gentle pressing of the lips, but it was enough to get my attention.

When I focused on him, he pulled back. His eyes alight with something I never wanted to name. It hurt too much.

"I never wanted to hurt you. From the first moment I saw you, felt you, all I wanted was to give you everything you ever wanted. Needed. I thought the way I was loving you, coming and going, was what you needed. I thought I knew who you were; my little chaos," he chuckled lightly, causing a small tilt of my lips. "I thought I knew what you needed, but it seems that I just fed too much into what I thought I needed as well. I thought our confliction was in sync, but the more I see you, _feel_ you, _hear_ you, the more I realize that the woman I loved changed when I wasn't looking."

I nodded as well; it hurt to acknowledge because we fought so damn hard, so damn hard to _not_ change, to stay the _same_. "I hid it from everyone, even myself. When I was left, I changed. I became tainted," I whispered the last part, my eyes closed, afraid of...

Afraid of his rejection.

Just like my brother, I was afraid he would leave me too. Even if I had trouble acknowledging that he was the first to see me other than my brother, the first to accept me, want me, and never truly leave me (as he always came back), I was afraid he would leave and I would have nothing to tie to my past.

My brother escaped, parts of him, from his prison—the part that regretted what he had done to me—so that he could be with me, and now he was dead.

I whimpered as these revelations became known to me. I had run for so long from them.

Would he kill me? Maybe if I had been taken out long ago, this would have never happened. He had only been with her because of me; she was killed because of that betrayal...if the betrayal never happened, then we wouldn't have fucked the world.

"Shhh," he whispered, trying to soothe me, as he took me in his arms. One arm wrapped around my back and the other cradling my head to him. "You have nothing to fear from me. Even in the midst of your change, you were still truer than all of them. Do you honestly believe that I would lay one finger on you in violence?"

That was something I had forgotten about. Solas had always known exactly what was going through my head even I didn't. Maybe he was more like my Falan.

"If this is not me, then you would be freeing me, just like your friend," my voice only came out in a whisper.

Why was it always me who would become weak in front of the men in my life? Why was it that I always let myself become vulnerable, let my weakness come out?

I knew they secretly loved it because that meant I depended on them; that I needed them, and don't we all want that?

Solas leaned his forehead against mine. "I would have thought after all these centuries together, my little Death, you have known how selfish I am. I will never let you go. From the first moment I saw you, you have been mine. Even if I have share you, my punishment for hurting you, you will never leave me. I will not let the Creator reclaim you, but if you do not wish to join me, I will not force you."

His confessions were having an affect on me. Just like always, pretty words always brought me back to him. But was there ever any chance to leave him? The two of us have been tied together since before we were given form into this side.

"We've made so many mistakes, what makes this one anything but the same?" I ask, and I knew he could see my resistance was almost nonexistence.

As he took in my words and my stance, I knew it was taking everything he had not to take advantage of it. After all, together we could do anything.

We had raised war against the others, raised the Veil, and, technically, were the ones who the made the Rift in the sky. What could we not do together?

Solas only took a few steps back, separating us. "You're right; it could be much worse, but do we have anything to lose? You saw how the world was before the Rift in the sky. You brought order, and they now want to throw you away. After everything you have sacrificed, and they throw you away just as the others did. I have _never_ thrown you away. Every extreme has been with you by my side."

That tongue of his...

The dragon...

"What happens if we made it worse? What kind of world will we be living in?"

Solas turned from me and looked over the cliff straight at my safe-haven. "Mythal's murder was the breaking point; it was when I decided that I could not sit back any longer. We spent centuries building places like this," he waved his hand toward the buildings. "We should not have had to do that. We did nothing and let things get worse, and now, there is some peace, but how much longer? There will always be war and revolutions. Will the next one free our people? Will we continue to watch until something worse happens that brings that about? What occurred for mages to revolt? Templars?"

The wolf in front of me was asking if I wanted history to repeat itself. Was the reason everything ended badly was because we sat back and let those fools gain more and more power until we had no choice but to lock them away?

There was no one that we could do that this time. My time in the Imperium with the Archon taught me this. We could destory, burn things to the ground, but what would rise in the ashes?

I didn't want the power; I didn't want to head that society, but would I have a choice?

I walked forward until I was standing next to him, though I refused to look at him. "I've never said I knew what to do. In trying to make things better, we end up making them worse. You realize that if we do what you wish, to bring the People back to power, to help them, we will need to undo what we did so long ago? Do you know what that would od to this world? This is not the one it was long ago. The people of this era fear magic and mages, but to release what is behind it?"

Solas took my right hand in his, "We would not be burning the world down, but we would be destroying it."

"But destroying it does not mean that what comes out of the ashes will be like it was. It can never be that way again. You've taken the little bit of Mythal's power that has remained and even if it is combined with what fucked up bit that I have, it does not mean that we can succeed. We are not what we once were, even you have changed. The sleep has drained your power, you even look different."

Even though I voiced all these objections like thoughts, I could feel that the more we talked, the less tense he became. The bastard knew I was giving in, that I would support him, and he was showing me that he respected my opinion, my thoughts, as he responded to them and treated me seriously.

"Something must be done," he said, and I agreed, but there was something else that he hadn't said anything about.

"If we do this," I said with a tone that had him turning to me completely as I now had his full undivided attention. "You know what will happen. If we drop the Veil, the defenes, the locks, that we have in place will begin to fall. Look at what has happened to the Crossroads, the In-Between," I warned. "It will repair somewhat, but what have we left behind. What will this dropping let loose?"

Solas knew immediately what I was talking about. "We did destory the world once to lock them away, and if they come out again, that would hinder us greatly. They would seek vengeance against us, destroying everything we want to rebuild."

So he did consider what would happen. The others would be after us. Last time, we had surprise on our side. They never expected the betrayal.

I was about to tell him about the dragon because if he was so damn set on this, he had to know, but as the words started to come out of my mouth, pain shot up my left arm. The Mark was acting up again.

It hasn't happened often; I could count on one hand, but each time, it was worse. This one brought me to my knees.

I let out a cry as I fell, my right arm cradling my hand to my chest. Solas moved with me, his hand glowing as he touched my hand. The pain stopped instantly as his the mark felt his magic.

That was when it all made sense. I laughed bitterly. "I had though the orb was mine, but mine shattered during the sealing, did it not?"

Solas slowly nodded, "Our orbs shared so much magic during the making of the Veil, but it is not enough. I gave you my magic to settle it down when you first received it. If it was anyone else, they would have died in the explosion, but the orb sensed your magic no doubt and bonded with you."

"Because it could not sense yours," I countered. That made sense, "And all this time you have either been by my side or near enough that mark fed off your magic keeping it steady and stable."

Sola looked pained and regretful, "I had forgotten when the battle was over, even after you saw what occurred with Mythal, the knowledge seemed to stay from my mind. I needed to get away, to think. Now that the orb is no longer useful, I had to find another way. But more than that," he said when he caught the annoyed look in my eyes, "I couldn't stay with you. You are too distracting. That, and I saw what my desperate actions had wrought, and so did you. You were the one hurt most of all, and it became too much. I could not look at you and not hate myself. I had promised never to hurt you, but what had I done except just that?"

I didn't just hear the regret and guilt, I felt it from him. My heart reached out to him because I knew what it was like to be the cause of something.

Anders.

Anders was my fault.

I gave my cousin the power to let it happen just as Solas had given Coriffyslut the power that fucked us for Maker knew how long.

My actions fed into his. A fucking cycle that we couldn't get away from.

Neither of us could do anything right.

"Does this mean that we are bound to each other? That I am forcing you to stay with me?"

That would destory whatever we had left, whatever it was. Solas was a traveler; he didn't stay in one place long, always wanting to _move_ and learn.

Solas shook his head; I missed his hair. "Not necessarily, from what I can tell, you have some of my magic in you now. I didn't notice it before," he mused, "Have you had many attacks?"

I shook my head. "I think I counted three total? I felt more coming but something soothed them," I hesitated, I guess this was a good time as any, "the Qunari were torturing and experimenting on dragons."

Solas' eyes darkened and hardened, "How many did you find?"

I sighed, "I only got to one, and I freed her, but not before she told me exactly why I have your magic inside of me."

Solas looked confused, and I knew he had no idea what the dragon told me. "She spoke to you?"

I rolled my eyes, "No, she nudged me," he still looked confused, idiot. "You, you fucktard, left something behind that night you visited me when you told me all this shit was about to start."

I didn't have to wait long before his eyes widened and zoomed in on my stomach. "That should be impossible..." he trailed off.

My hair fell over my eyes as I looked down at the ground causing him to look up and move it behind my ear. "It should be. Honestly, after what happened in Kirkwall, I should have never become pregnant in the first place. I got stabbed the wrong way..." I explained briefly, not really wanting to admit to anything else. Course, he probably would have known something was wrong if he had examined me in depth after the Temple was blown to bits.

Whatever was going through is mind stopped at my words, and a decision had been formed.

Gently, he helped me stand, his hands encasing my marked one, and I felt him feed me magic to soothe the thing.

"We have options if you do not want to be near me all the time," he said quietly, and I figured that meant I was losing the damn hand because, really, what other way was there to stop the mark? My magic was enough to maintain a stable connection but only halfway. I wasn't going to be good enough for the mark as it was not meant for me even though it chose me. If it had been my orb, then the same would have happened to Solas if the roles had been reversed.

My magic had maintained it with help from Solas for the entire time I was Herald and Inquisitor and even after, but now, it seemed, it wanted more. Of course, the whole thing could have been triggered after he got me pregnant. That constant reminder that the mark wasn't mine...

Solas lifted my chin making sure that our eyes connected. Green to blue. There was so much passion, so much steel, power in them that I stopped breathing. "This child will never know a half-world, a world that is incomplete. I will fix what we have done and give this child everything. I will deal with the others; I promise, vow, to you that this child will not be harmed. They will never touch or reach the gift that you have given me," as those words left his lips, I felt his Fade-Song, so confident, no doubt. His lips touched my forehead gently.

Solas held his hand out to me, "Let us make a world worth living for this child of ours, Beloved."

"Well, shit," I said, "Varric is going to kill me. I just had to go and start another fucked up, hero story."

Solas only chuckled as I took his hand.

As we walked toward the Eluvian that was behind him, something else came mind.

The others were waiting on me...not to mention, Cole, Fenris, and Sebastian (let alone Carver).

I froze as I considered them...I'd really take down the Veil than have to deal with Carver's reaction.

Not to mention my other lovers...Cole already knew, but Fenris and Sebastian were already pissed and angry with Solas...

"What is it?" Solas questioned when I stopped.

I looked very uncomfortable. "Fenris and Sebastian don't know I'm pregnant. I'm just thinking about how our plans to rip the Veil down is going to happen when they found out, and, probably, murder you."

Solas paled, "Well, Shit."


End file.
